We all feel nervous in social situations sometimes. You may get butterflies before a big presentation or feel awkward at parties where you don't know anyone. But for some people, social anxiety goes beyond occasional nerves and starts to seriously impact their quality of daily life. It’s also okay to get help if those natural nerves are becoming more frequent or if you want to do some personal exploration of social anxiety.

So, when is the time to reach out for help? Here are some signs that your social anxiety might benefit from professional support:

1. You're avoiding important things

Are you skipping classes, turning down job opportunities, or missing out on fun events because of anxiety? If fear is holding you back from living your life, it may be time to talk to someone. Research shows people with social anxiety are statistically more likely to struggle to gain employment, enroll in college, or identify life plans for fear or judgment about what they want to do.

2. Your relationships are suffering

Do you struggle to make friends or maintain close connections? Are you constantly worried about what others think of you? As much as we may not like to admit it, healthy relationships are crucial for well-being, so don't let anxiety stand in your way. People with social anxiety struggle on both ends, people-pleasing when they are around people and avoiding interactions to limit unpleasant experiences, which can come across inaccurately as disinterested in the friendship (this is known as the interpersonal gap; please let me know if you’d like to learn more).

3. Physical symptoms are interfering with your life

Racing heart, sweating, nausea, trembling - if these symptoms pop up regularly in social situations and disrupt your ability to function, a therapist can help you manage them and change your relationship to the symptoms so they occupy less head space.

4. Negative thoughts are taking over

Is your inner critic working overtime? If you can't stop obsessing over perceived social failures or imagining worst-case scenarios, it's worth seeking support. Most people with social anxiety are their worst critic. Research shows the most self-critical disorder is social anxiety disorder, second to major depressive disorder. Additionally, people with social anxiety are more likely to think there’s a threat or someone does not like them without any objective evidence of a threat.

5. You're using unhealthy coping mechanisms

Turning to alcohol, drugs, or other problematic behaviors to deal with social anxiety? There are healthier ways to cope, and a professional can guide you. People who are experiencing social anxiety and are extroverted are significantly more likely to develop an unhealthy relationship with alcohol as a tool to cope, which can turn into alcohol use disorder over time and habituation.

6. Your anxiety feels out of proportion

A little nervousness before a first date is a healthy sign of respect for an important moment. Panic attacks at the thought of small talk? Struggling to make an important phone call? Those might be a sign you'd benefit from some extra help.

Remember, seeking help isn't a sign of weakness - it's a sign of strength and self-awareness. Social anxiety is highly treatable, and there's no shame in reaching out to a therapist, counselor, or doctor. You deserve to feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. As a shame-informed therapist, judgment and criticism hold no space in my office. Please start your comeback today.

Have you dealt with social anxiety? What helped you? Share your experiences in the comments!

Would you like me to elaborate on any part of this blog post or provide additional information on social anxiety?