Continued use or behavior despite adverse (negative) consequences.
“The idea of having “enough” might look like conservatism, leaving opportunity and potential on the table. I don’t think that’s right. “Enough” is realizing that the opposite - an insatiable appetite for more- will push you to the point of regret.”
- Morgan Housel
Both internal and external understanding with honesty is the bedrock of recovery.
Build a foundation for recovery.
Establish Honesty and Self-Compassion
Reduce Shame
Challenge Unhelpful Beliefs
Integrate Connection
Maintain Free-Will and Choice
Relearn Evaluating Risk
Contentment as a Skill
Foster Depth and Meaning
Feel Secure Again
What are your goals?
What is your goal as you read this today? Is your goal abstinence? Is your goal a new relationship with a substance or behavior? Is your goal to cope with life in a different method other than using? Is your goal to feel in control again?
The world of addiction treatment is complex, overwhelming, and has counterintuitive aspects for each approach. For some, they feel Alcoholics Anonymous creates shame. AA's level of understanding and accountability is second to none for others. However, if anxiety over opening up to a group is too intimidating and limiting, there are other options too. Rather than look at research showing that moderation is possible for some and not for others or research that endorses black-and-white thinking that abstinence is the only way. Let’s focus on what is in the here and now. Let’s take one step at a time and understand how an initial positive experience with the presence of a substance may have ignited the reward pathway in our brain like never before. Then, let’s talk about how nouns (people, places, and things) maintain the use of a substance and why our brains ignore the negative aspects while we continue to chase “more.”
Whether you’re not ready yet to see if abstinence is the answer or if you’re ready to break free from habitual use. I’ll meet you where you’re at in your journey without judgment. Believe in yourself.
The First Step is Grief
After your brain has experienced a habitual tendency to want to consume more of something, and you decide to address the negative aspects of your use, a process of grief begins. Grieving change does not have to be logical because the core of grief is an emotional experience. Research outlines that the most stigma for any disorder is substance use disorders; furthermore, the most globally stigmatized substance is alcohol, according to the World Health Organization in 2019. Let’s grieve the loss of unnecessary shame causing the desire to hide, be dishonest, or keep secrets from yourself and people trying to help and embrace the strength inside you to make the necessary changes to lead a more fulfilling life.
I approach recovery from a few models depending on the person’s goals. Motivational interviewing is a skill I hope to teach you so that when you find yourself at a crossroads or a challenging moment, you can slow down and evaluate what you are willing to do at that moment. Experience a sense of control when your brain’s reward pathway may have responded impulsively. However, we first have to let go of the concept that we can do this on our own and learn to embrace connection with others without feeling shame. It’s OKAY. You are worth the connection; this does not mean you HAVE to go to groups. Simply that connection is the opposite of shame and addiction.
Try this exercise; the last time you wanted to drink/use, what were the “nouns” surrounding that moment? Same bar? The same room in the house? Same people? Now take a deep breath and remember a time you had a positive experience with those nouns without consuming. You can do that again, and if you feel you can’t remember a time without using, challenge that thought and imagine what that would be like. I believe in you; let’s work together to create the life you want to live.
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