The Stress-Social Anxiety Dilemma: 5 Foolproof Ways to Spot the Difference and Conquer Both

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and confused by stress and anxiety. While these two conditions often go hand in hand, it's crucial to understand their distinct differences to manage and overcome both effectively. As this post goes on, I’ll become more focused on social anxiety to help with the specific application of how to overcome that anxiety.

Stress vs. Anxiety vs. Social Anxiety: Understanding the Differences

Stress is a natural response in which our bodies release hormones and neurotransmitters that request energy. This energy request often comes from external pressures or demands, such as daily challenges with time management, ongoing relationship conflicts, or significant life changes. The response becomes unhelpful or uncomfortable from a perceived imbalance between our resources and what the challenges demand from us. However, stress can be both positive (eustress) and negative (distress), and it's a necessary part of life that motivates us to perform better.

Anxiety, similarly, is a natural response in our bodies that releases hormones and neurotransmitters requesting energy. Yet, the energy request comes from an internal, emotional state characterized by worry, concern, and apprehension. It's often a response to perceived future threats or dangers, even if they're not immediately present.

Fear and anxiety go close together yet are different at the same time.

Wait, aren’t they the same? 

Fear has an identifiable source, and anxiety does not. 

• For example, if my mind seems to be racing over multiple things, what if they don’t like me, what happens if I don’t make this post, where will people find me at then? That’s anxiety. 

• However, if my thoughts are more specific, like how I am going to get this done in time, can people understand what I’m trying to say? Those are specific fears of time management and comprehensive communication. 

Social anxiety is an anxious response to a perceived threat from a negative evaluation. Since it’s anxiety about social evaluation, you may first think that’s specific and thus a fear. However, the anxiety often makes it hard to pinpoint what the criticism would be, is sourced in worry, or feels like a personal criticism that your overall person is not good enough. Notice how there’s not one judgment social anxiety is concerned with; it’s broad or challenging to place on one fear. 

5 Foolproof Ways to Spot the Difference

1. Intent: Since you can have physical symptoms of stress and anxiety at the same time, we can look to see the difference between the two with one question: what is this energy trying to get me to do? 

• If the answer is to seek safety and comfort from something vaguely fearful, that’s probably anxiety. 

• If the answer is that you’re doubting if you can or can’t do something, that’s probably stress.

2. Physical Symptoms: Stress and anxiety can manifest through physical symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, and muscle tension. Anxiety goes beyond the physical symptoms and may also include restlessness, difficulty concentrating, and sleep disturbances.

3. Trigger: Stress is usually triggered by external events or demands, while anxiety is often internal and may arise without a clear, identifiable trigger. 

• Sometimes, an upcoming external social event can trigger social anxiety, yet the fear of what the criticism will be remains vague and, thus, anxiety.

4. Thought Patterns: Stress often involves problem-solving and focusing on the present demands, while anxiety is characterized by worrying about the future and catastrophizing.

5. Coping Strategies: Effective stress management techniques like time management, breaking things down into smaller steps, relaxation practices, and seeking social support can alleviate stress, but anxiety may require more specialized interventions like cognitive-behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, or medication. Additionally, as you progress on a task, your stress will lower; however, with anxiety, the experience will remain distressing.

Conquering Stress and Social Anxiety

While stress and anxiety are distinct experiences, they can often feed into each other. Fortunately, there are strategies that can help you address both conditions:

1. Develop Stress Management Skills: Practice techniques like deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness, breaking down each step into smaller steps until you feel you can take said step, and exercise to help your body and mind healthily respond to stress.

2. Welcome Anxious Thoughts: When we try to fight anxious thoughts, we tend to get into an endless tug-of-war. Instead, let’s recognize that the thoughts are not what you are choosing. Instead, choose to focus on identifying a problem or specific fear instead of trying to get the thoughts to change. 

• For example, I may fear being criticized at a networking event. I noticed that the thought was vague and could represent many different criticisms, so instead of trying to find a criticism, I’m going to focus on the problem of how to prepare for the networking event. I’ll practice my stress management skills and set an achievable goal:

• “I’ll stay for 15 minutes and pass out ten infographic handouts, then I can leave and get a Reeses sticks (reward for the challenge).”

3. Seek Professional Help: If your stress or anxiety becomes overwhelming, don't hesitate to consult with a mental health professional who can provide personalized guidance and support. While action helps solve most problems, it’s also important to learn where your social anxiety comes from and how to heal that past pain to truly benefit from your development in becoming the hero of your future. 

4. Prioritize Self-Care: Ensure that you get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. It’s also essential to set rewards for facing fears and something to look forward to after achieving a complicated goal. My caveat is to be honest and set a reward that reflects the task’s difficulty. If my goal invokes a 3/10 in distress, getting a 10/10 reward is inappropriate. 

5. Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with people who can offer emotional support and help you navigate challenging situations. I know this is incredibly challenging for people overcoming social anxiety. I’ve always found the paradox ironic that to overcome social anxiety; we must do the fearful thing and foster close relationships. However, this doesn’t happen overnight. So, let’s start with natural supports and build closer connections with the safest person first, then extend out as you grow. 

By understanding the differences between stress, anxiety, and social anxiety, you can begin to implement a holistic approach to managing both. You can regain control of your well-being and live a more balanced, fulfilling life. Above all else, without ever meeting you, I believe in you. Everyone can change and keep getting better!

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